I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
3 2 1 whiskey
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
