Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
