i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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