That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
