he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
