We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
