At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
