Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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