Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize