so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
