i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
