Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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