Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
