I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
