singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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