Operation Purity has been aborted
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
