NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
