somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
