I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
