I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
