She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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