hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
