areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
