OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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