Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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