I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
