A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
