I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The feeling are messing with the penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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