she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
