This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
