I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize