he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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