you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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