Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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