Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
