I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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