Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
