I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
