i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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