Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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