i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
