I feel like I'm in dance class right now
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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