Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize