Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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