Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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