We're like a lot better than the average bears
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
