i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's shark week go big or go home
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
