All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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