i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
