hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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