My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize