i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
