My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
