so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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