I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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