omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize