Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize