I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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