Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
