The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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