Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize