I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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